My Beloved Son

Aqil is now aged 22 months and 2 months more he will be receiving his degree of fully breastfed baby (Oh, i hope i can do it, InshaAllah). He is now can talk a few words and he's started to have bad tantrums (i think he learned it from the other boy). He is well-picked up but sometimes for complicated words, he just keep shut.He likes to follow waht others are doing and mimicks some of funny faces.For me, I feel very lucky to be with him, never missed for one nite (Alhamdulillah).When i heard of other friends who leave their 2months baby with their mom because of working or not trust to other to take care of their baby, i think they are too strong to be away from their baby.I simply cannot be away from my son except going to work which I need to, I have to...

Aqil now, can understand instruction by still need to be guided for new instruction when i instruct in english, He is so MELAYU.He understand and speaks malay very well.But his english sounds like sarawakian english.Hehehe.

His tantrum lately is he does not want to wear shoes, instead he prefers to walk barefooted or else "dukung". It is very hard to put the shoes on him. Evry time he woke up in the morning, first thing is, he must see me or else he will cry out loud, very loud and also when i warned him on something that he must not do, he will run away, standing againts the wall and make ke down face (merajuk ler tu). Then if i grab something from his hand, he will cry out loud and rythmatic. I never know how and when he learned all those things as I usually speak softly to him.

Regardless of the pain that i endured during birthing, I still think that he is so much worth it. He is cute, funny and loving.It is really worth it.Evrytime I look deep into his eyes, I feel all my problems are gone and the world is only me and him. If to describe how much I love him, I can't tell, it is priceless and he is my precious. I think, that's feeling is felt by all mothers and I hope i still have the same feeling for my future children (Aminn). Then, I understand why mothers are so protective.....

The saddest thing I've to go

As an obligatory to the governtment rule, I have to attend a 5 days 4 nites national program at a jungle in Rembau. Initially, I plan to bring along Aqil as he is still breastfeed during the nites. However, there is no use since I still jailed in the camp at nite. Then I planned to escape, I planned to create sickness when near to the date.However, I don't feel this right.I'm not used of cheating since I know, I'll get the punishment later.

Here is the thing came, I have to sacrifice my personal goals for me to abide the governtment rules.Oh dear, this is horrible and I hate it really much.I'm starting to feel so small in this government since the officer works just to follow the law and forget the sensitivity of human beings. I'm started to feel like a prisoner in my own country where the human rights are not justified.I wish oh how i wish dear, the rules are gone, the people who made the rules are all gone but the follower who is s****d and d**b still believe there is a lot of goodness comes out of the s****d rules.

I only ask to sleep with my son during the nite or else be baby and mother friendly camp. I feel really terrible with this. My hubbby is not supporting my thinking, he just say that this is the time for me to stop bf. IT IS NOT 2 YEARs' yet! I hate not doing something that I know I can achieve it. I hate to stop bf for 4 consecutive nites! I HATE this! And remember, those who are behind this, will share the sin you've made to me, and I will not forgive for what ever reason as YOU GUYS are stopping me to do good deeds to my OWN blood!