TIRED?

I am really TIRED...

Yess..I am...and this blog has been a place for me to let out how i feel...

I wonder when will i never feel tired anymore....sit back and relax sipping the juicy fruit juice near the shore...with the wind blowing onto my face....and yess...I wore the GUCCI/PRADA sunglasses...my first ever sunglasses..(i wish!)..thinking of nothing but relax....emptying my mind from all the pain..ouchhh....all the tiredness i endure for quite a longggggg time......

Really hope that i never feel this much pain ouchh...tiredness anymore...I wish!

Homesick?

What do i do during this late hour? I am not a stay up late kind of person. Actually i just had a little sleep during my kids bedtime..haha...that's typical me since i had children to bear..kihkih..especially when bf...i usually fell asleep too...

When i woke up, rasa2 lapar la pulak..then i went to the kitchen and get something to eat...but...i could not finish the meal as usual...

Being a 8 days temporary single mum really affect my memories...(what's that??)..haha..the thing that i want to share/tell/post here..is.....


I MISS MY LIFE IN EDINBURGH VERY BADLY!!!!

Why???

Dulu sibuk nak balik xmenyempat...skang..rindu2 pulak...haih~~~

It's because, I am husbandless right now...and when I was in Edinburgh...i managed to have my ME-time...pergi tgk rocks..and kt sini??..Oh dear...i think i only had once...tu pon 24 hours pon xsampai....

And many more things about edinburgh that i missed very much...eventho when we were there...we quarrel a lot...yeah...and stucked in the house during winter yg almost made me insane because xdpt tour the europe while was there....but i do really those time...each of every minute...

When ever i feel sad...i can go out easily..xyah drive...g Scotmid find something to eat pon dah OK...or g ASDA..shopping food ok...ASDA got everyday offer...when we were during our term break...since nk g memaner...we will scouting for bargain stuff...best...shopping good stuff really clear my mind tau...it is one of my therapy...hehe...

And the best thing is...my life there is so simple...eventho we have to pay the expensive nursery for Aqil...but we were still manage to save some pounds to bring back...wonderful isn't it? It was lot more than we manger to save yearly here with our monthly salary....i always wonder how we did work on it...and if Malaysian bbsit Aqil...mightbe..we could bring triple of what we brought home...or..maybe...that "Eagle Eye" will be ours...eheheh.....

Susu Banyak...Susu Siket...

Anyone yg baca tajuk entry..mesti make known yg this entry is going to be all about breastfeeding. First of all, I am not a breastfeeding hardcore actually..sape la saya kan...hi hi hi...I am just a mother of two with the passion to give the best to my children...and breastmilk feeding, for me is one of them...which i am capable of la kan..because not all mother is gifted with this gift ok..so please3x don't blame mothers yg xbreastfeed their children tu..perhaps they've tried but due to many or unsolved diffculties...xdpt nk fully breastfeed...(sape yg xberusehe tu.no komen...he he he)...

I am blessed with this gift as according to generations, only me in the family has managed to breastfeed longer and has abundance of milk..I am not sure myself how..but i guess ini rezeki Allah nk beri pd saya...setiap org ade bhgn masing2 kan...betul tak???

Tapi, I know...mesti org still tanya and amaze on how i can have abundance of milk despite of myself yg sgtlah skinny. Now rasa dah OK sket...a little chubbier..org kata laa kan..tp we'll in the next 4-5 months...chubby lg ke???tgk2...sume longgar balik dah baju2....he.he..he...therefore, saya nk share what I did and how I maintain my milk production other than it is a gift from Allah s.w.t.

1. Doa
Sejak dr mengandung, ni tahu je dh ade heartbeat ni..u know..bila scan yg nampak bentuk kacang panggang tu..i niat dlm hati i nak breast feed anak i sampai cukup haul 2 thn hijrah...at least...inshaAllah...i mintak Allah kurniakn rezeki tu pd saya...selain tu saya rajin baca satu surah ni..Al-Hasyar...diperkatakn...utk membykkn susu bdn..(kalau slh surah ckp yer...tp mmg ade 1 surah ni)...masa anak first...saya xtanam niat dr ms awal pregnancy...saya tanam niat after dh tahu kebaikan breastfeeding pas attend antenatal class kt ampang putri (promote tuuu..huhu)...since then, hari2 sy doa smoga saya dpt bf anak saya tu...

2. Istiqomah
Ni yg slalu mak2 lomah..dah berdoa...berusaha..tp xistiqomah...kalau mcm mmg keturunan susu byk...xdelah risau sgt...bende ni kene berterusan...cthnya..kalau pump, haruslah consistent...maknanya...hari2 mesti mau pump kt opis..jgnla ngelat2 if you know that ur body is going to produce less if u mls...so...kene rajin2 kan diri la...saya anak pertama..sy xbuat stok mcm org lain buat...org lain buat sampai ade yg 100 botol pon ada...saya x...sbb sy agak pemls...org yg buat stok byk2 tu...diorg takut diorg kene travel tinggal anak..tu jer...mcm saya...keje saya xde requirement gitew..so xperla..tp still buat jugak...actually have to...sbb ms dlm pantang...baby minum xbyk...tp susu diproduce byk...haruslah dipam kuar utk elakkn bengkak susu yg saket itewww...ouchhh....

3.Water intake
Minum 3 liter sehari taw utk elak dehydration or haus..kalau bf..mmg cpt haus...dan jugak cpt lapar...tapi...if jenis bdn snang naik tu...control2 la jugak mkn tu kalau nk maintain good figure kan....tp kalau bdn sekeping cam i ni...mknlah byk2...lg byk susu terhasill..sume jadi susu gamak nye...tihihi...tp bila minum air byk..haruslah membuang air pon byk..xpe..bagus...buang toxin dlm badan kn...ehehe...Yg jd kerisuan is masa bulan puasa la...so..ms sahur minum air byk2...dan jugak masa berbuka pon sama......;)

4.Motivation
Beruntunglah isteri2 yg dpt motivation drpd suami2 mereka..tu yg paling penting...support drpd suami...selain tu..kenelah berkwn dgn org2 yg bf jugak...org ckp...'hardcore' bab bf2 ni...so..kita akan mendpt aura bf yg baik drpd mereka2 ini...sy terigt diri sy...ms sy sgt2 determined utk bf was ms antenatal class bab breastfeeding...nurse2 situ yg membuat sy teruja utk bf selps baby lahir..kata2 semangat tu la...yg buat sy nekad utk bf xkire ape usehe skalipon...alhamdulillah..suami pon sokong..and we all xpnah g survey brg2 baby..termasuk survey susu FM sbb dlm mindset...dh set...i want to fully bf my babies...yeahh~~~

5. Research
Wat researchlah sikit psl bf ni...jgn menonong...lgpon drpd research ni..dpt tahu kebaikan2 bf ni kan...so..lagilah bersemangat...dan our determination tu...lg bertambah strong...dulu2 la kan...ms anak fes..suka baca forum ibu2 bf...jugak..sy suke baca article psl bf..xkire di mn2...dan rs kembang kuncup jer hidup yg xberapa nk mancung ni...bila baca artikel2 tu psl i am one of the bf mother la....hahaha..bangga tawwww....dan jugak bersyukur....sy bertuah sbb dpt bf anak2 saya...alhamdulillah....

Susu byk ke...susu siket ke...berusaha la nk menten bf pd sape2 yg nk menikmati keunggulan pengalaman bf ni...sy bf yg sulung tu..2 thn 4 bulan...manisss...manisss...kali ni utk adik..inshaAllah...2 thn jugak....sbb sy sgt rindu utk menikmati saat2 manis itu kembali...tp yeah...lain anak...lain manis nya...xsama...walau 2-2 lelaki tulen belaka....hahaha...

Eh...cukupla...xlrt la nk sambung dah entry ni...i ada keje opis yg harus disiapkn di rumah....????

No Thing

It has been 4 days I've been a 'temporary single mum' and today, i feel really tired. I tried to control my patient in handling both kids..and i received some unwanted news from my eldest, die ckp cikgu pukul...hmm..this is not a first time..i checked kt tpt yg die claimed cikgu pukul...yess kt tadika dia..mmg they apply rotan as part of the punishment..especially when the kids beat other fren..so..the principal said, they will give slow talk dulu...if the kid still doing the same...baru kene rotan...and i was made to understand that they will informed the parents when ever the punishment take place...until now..no news about that...

As a mum, I always see my kids a good ones..and i feel that my eldest is still too young to understand the punishment...belum mumayyiz org ckp..i only afraid, the punishment will make him feel more 'tiny' and lose confidence in himself...that is my thinking...even, before i did punish him...and i feel sgtlah menyesal...because, he just don't deserve it...terasa how stupid i was, nk punish toddler...i rather choose psychological way of influencing him to behave good..and yes...i have been practicing it..but yes...really need a lot ...lottt of patient..and he slowly understand...which is good and which is wrong....

Kids love rewards..i used reward system in my approach to discipline him...and...i used 'love' system to get both kids stay together...daddy always worried of the eldest got too rough with baby...but that was before...as parents...we cannot always say...don't go near adik...or tepis2 die whenever die stay near kt adik...becoz he has good intention...so far....the eldest never harm adik...as org slalu ckp...abg jeles kt adik...and buat adik...but not to my kids...i trained and still training both kids to get together in a easy way...just let the eldest do what ever he wants to adik as long as it is safe...so..parents kene keep watching...and the result..tremendously....worth it...you sabar...and you manage to throw away your anger...and your kids feel close to you and respect you....that's what i feel for my kids....

p/s: tajuk xserupe entry kan...hihihi...:)

Outing to KLCC

Today i was on my off day, taking turn to stay with Aqil as his school closed due to school break..(matilah kalau cuti sebulan....mmg xcukup AL ler jwbnye...)

In the morning, I sent off Asif to babysitter and returned to home to continue my sleep. As usual, Aqil will not get back to sleep once he woke up..bagus betul anak soleh mama ni...so, i let him watch his channel, none other than the PHDC laaa...i prepared his breakfast, a simple one...just bread and jam..'drug' him with some vitamin C and ribena...

I laid down on the bed and Aqil did asked me to accompany him watching the tv but I was really damned sleepy and I just said to him, I need some rest and asked him to watch the tv...How lucky I am I have an understanding son, he went out and never enter the room again as he knew i were sleeping..but I could not sleep soundly as you know...there are no safest place in KL even in your own house kan..so...kejap2 terbgn...and that's really made my body more tired after that....

I woke up finally, get something to eat and siap2 for outing. Aqil was so excited, he was behaving really good. And i did slow talk to him to behave good as we will be going out by lrt, not car. I put on his hat as the weather was so sunny and we went out to the lrt station...

We arrived KLCC around 20 minutes later..huh..kalau naik keta...hrp la nk sampai in 20 minutes kn..tambah with me driving like kura2....haha..scared u know..driving in between KL drivers...so straight away we went to our F1 car...parked near to tower 1 and meet the daddy there...Aqil was so excited to see his daddy..and start la...mengader2 sket..and started asking for the scoop ride...

We took him thru escalator OK..since the lift was full..maklum la..time lunch kan..harusla sesak suria KLCC tu kan..all the way Aqil was asking for his scoop...i patiently said to him that we are going there.....

Sesampai jer...ade budak main pulak...so we waited a while...then that budak nyer dad asked his son to move out...xgerak pon bende tu...budak tu just duduk2...then Aqil pon masukla...i put some coins in to make the vehicle move...start move je..he freaked out..haha...hampeh betul...he is still scared of moving toys...ape la...we tried to help him out...but cannot...becoz he almost cry...haha...so we wait until that scoop stop...then we took some piccas...harusla kan...(picture anak jer pon...mak pak tader...ehehe...)

Pas puas main scoop...we all g mkn kt level 2 tu...i sort of agak kenyang..so we just had McD jer..xbagus utk kesihatan OK..!after lunch, we move to other places...sent the daddy off to work...and we continue our jln2 pusing2 Suria KLCC...ehehe...

We went to toy's r us...and i taught him to choose toys...let him know that there is toy shop for kids...where they can look for any toys of their liking...haha..but, must have the limit laa kan...i only taught him for window shopping only...dah byk toys kt rumah...i dun want my house jd another toy shop pulak kn....hehehe...

Next we off to Isetan...area kids...so we window shopping again...and as a reward of his good behavior...i bought him sunglasses...pandai pulak pilih the most expensive kt situ....cis3...and a ben10 wristwatch...he was soooo happy...terus pakai sunglasses and that watch....then we all balik...sbb mummy dh leteh jln sebenarnye....

So, spjg2 naik lrt nk balik...Aqil pon bergaya lahh dgn sunglasess dia.....(hensem sungguh anakku...ehehe...haruslah puji anak sendiri kn....??)

Sampai2 umah...when i asked him whether he had fun or not....of kos he said YESS..."nanti nk jalan lagi.."...then started ty mana adik....syg sungguh kt adik...:)

A weekend Story

On Saturday it was nice sunny day..but not too hot…so we went out for lunch at Setiawangsa. We ate at Madam Lim’s. Aqil was so happy to have his trolley car, a good day for him..and Asif still asleep in his stroller..While waiting for the food to be served, I went to the Sime Darby promotional booth nearby. They brought in a bus of promoters for their SD properties. I asked for Melawati promotion but not available at that time. So they gave me some brochures and a nice reusable shopping bag as a token. They promised to contact me if there will be new launching on Sime Darby property. I’m waiting yeah!!*wink*wink

After we settled our hunger, we went for a short groceries shopping. This time around, Asif was awake and with his big round eyes exploring the huge world that he can see. Aqil was still in his trolley car. He was behaving very well indeed. We managed to try on soy milk for Aqil, and he sipped it all. When I asked whether he likes it or not, he nodded his head. So we bought one for trial. This soy milk can be used from 6 month and above. It has seaweed inside and it tasted nice not like Isomil, a bit bitter.

Both kids went to bed at the usual time, I am lucky to have these two gorgeous kids, never stay awake till late night. I’ve trained them to be at bed early so I can have some times to do something else after that. And Aqil wanted a new routine, a bedtime story everyday, read by me, of course, daddy won’t tolerate for bedtime story,only have spent for it maybe twice so far. The bedtime story that he loves to listen is the Cinderella story. I caught him reading the story to himself on his own word by referring to the picture in the book. So funny yet I am proud that he does appreciate what I do for him.

Around 2 a.m I was awake when Asif make some smooth noise, meaning that he wanted his milk. Suddenly I felt he was very warm, this was unusual and he was a bit cranky. Promptly, I was worried that his temperature would get high and high, I pulled out his clothes and he was only on his diaper. Then he fell asleep again. I wanted to sponge him but I was too tired to get up and went out to get clean hanky and a bowl of water in the middle of the darkness. Mind you, I did not want to disturb the daddy and Aqil by switching on the lights.

Around 4 a.m I was awake again, Asif made some cranky noises, I nursed him and he was difficult to get back to sleep. That time, my eyes were half open and I felt very weak with my SPD really hurt me. I got up and comforted him as he was a bit crying that time. Aqil was disturbed and he got up too, then I told him to get back to sleep nicely and he obeyed me. I was so afraid if the daddy woke up and interfere, Aqil would be the victim that night and things will get worsen. As I was with uncomfortable Asif, I could not bear another cry baby that night.

Around 5 a.m when Asif still could not get back to sleep, I took him out of the room. Few minutes later, I heard Aqil voices, then I had a look into the room and seeing him awake with bright round eyes, I asked him whether he likes to continue his sleep or not, he shook his head. Then I brought him to the living room as well as not to disturb the sleeping daddy. I switched on his favourite channel and I returned to Asif. Suddenly I noticed Asif had developed rashes, a few on his tummy and my thought at that time, because he slept barely, he might allergic to something on the bed. This time I was really weak and sleepy. I lay down on the tile flooring with my head laying down on the soft cushion of Asif playmat/playgym. I was like sleeping for 2-3 minutes, awake 2-3 minutes, and sleep again 2-3 minutes and it continues until the sunrise. I felt very light where I was difficult to get up from the floor.

The daddy decided to go for a doctor to check on Asif but I was so weak yet too sleepy to get dressed up and prepare for outing, even, I only ate half of my usual breakfast. I fell asleep again together with Asif but only manage to get 1 hour or so sleep. Then, Asif get cranky again, he was never like that before as he is a very cheerful baby and love to do push up together with me and jumping over my tummy.

Late noon, after I had my bathe, then I felt fresh and we went for Klinik KITA. The doc refered to hospital for blood taking as I said my neighbourhood area has had few dengue cases before, a fatal one. Then we rushed to APSH at the emergency and waited for half and hour to see the doctor, a GP, not specialist as it was Sunday. Then the HA weighed Asif, big baby ya you, no wonder I feel always heavy while holding him..despite he just nible2 the milk from bottle while I was at work. His temperature was 38.5 Celcius and when we met the doctor, promptly he said it is not dengue..what a relief!..what ever he explained after that…I was half listening..ehe..but he said, they can take blood sampling to determine what has caused the rashes..most probably the MR VIRUS…and most probably he was infected from someone who got it before…I was confused..no one in the house has had that…but I was not sure what about at his nanny house…

Asif was given PCM through rectal. Then, the nurse started to prepare for IV drip. They tried to find a good spot to put the needle in but could not find and I was half crying because Asif was crying intensely. I felt half weak when they tried to put on IV and came the daddy then asked the doctor why have to put the IV since he has not problem with fluid intake. Then since, there were many other patient outside, the nurse keep on come and go, and we wasted our time there for almost 2 hours. Then I went out and suddenly I felt I wanted to go home. Asif already fast asleep on my shoulder after the hard time. The officers already started to prepare room for Asif to be admitted. Then my instinct strongly urged me to tell my husband to see the doctor and tell him that we don’t to be admitted. I insisted to see our paeditrician and seek for his opinion on the next day. I hardly take GPs opinion for my kids and even, I never gave medicine from GP to my kids. I see GP just to get opinion or referral letter if anything serious.

We went back home that late evening, and Asif was still crying but happily giggling during warm bath time. He loves bath time very much. The daddy intended to throw him in the pool one day which I will never permit that. He was still at cranky mood until around 8 pm, after I performed my Maghrib, I was just about to attend Asif then, I saw him fast asleep on the bed after series of crying. It was a total shutdown. He only asked for milk around 11 pm I guessed. And he drinks a lot that night, I knew the different. Alhamdulillah, my milk produces as his need that time as I drink less that day and my body was really tired which is not good for BF mother, where, tendency to produce less milk.

The next day, we went to see our paeditrician at APSH too. And we have to wait almost 2 hour before being called in as normally, we need to come with appointment. And recently, that doctor has to undertake patients for his late colleague too. Before, we never had to come with appointment as there will be not so many patients. While waiting we went out to Cavenzi..ehehe…

When the doctor took a look on Asif, he confirmed that it was not dengue. He asked me a few question and he deduced that it was a viral fever caused by virus and he must have got it from someone else. We were wonder!! The doc said, the rashes will go away in 3 days or so, and no medication is needed. No blood sampling unless he turns feverish in next 3 days, then we need to follow up with him. The things he asked me before he came into conclusion were,
1. How many days of fever?
2. When did the first appearance of the red spots?
3. Did he drink well?
4. Did he have watery stool?

Back from the hosp, I surf the internet and found it may be a type of roseola fever. It started with loose of appetite, and series of watery stool. For dengue, the fever would last for few weeks then a really weak body (just like chickenpox) and the red spots will come after 1-2 weeks of continuous fever. For baby, it will not a serious one as long as he can make eye contact with you, still can smile, no sign of stiffneck (masih buleh teleng2 kepala). Throat clear and lung clear, no runny nose. The different with heat rash, would be, heat rash will fade away once you put your baby in a cool room for a while. Rashes will still there (you can feel it) but they will not in red anymore.

p/s: Bila jadi camni, dah timbul bibit2 nk jadi IBU sepenuh masa….hmm