The result....

I just went to scan this afternoon.It was an anomaly scan and was done for about more than half an hour. The radiographer was really kind and she explained everything she saw to me and i just like, wow, feeling like I'm having a first class treatment. She scanned everything and when she could not get good picture of my baby, she asked me to empty the bladder and waited me outside so that I won't enter the wrong room because there were so many many rooms and I was second time being there. I really like the atmosphere, very friendly and you'll feel it is worth waiting before you got your scan. And I was really satisfied with the scanning processes which I learned a lot today about my baby. Now i list what i can see - anyway this is the normal scanning not 3 D:

1. I saw the baby yawning - sleepy yeh?? it was afternoon anyway...time for nap...hehe
2. I saw the lip - i think the baby got mine..hihi...I don't know...but it is as beautiful as the brother though...
3. I can see the legs - crossed legs ok...hehe..bersila ke???
4. I can see the feet with all the fingers...alhamdulillah..all looks fine..
5. I can see the hands - sempat lagi hi-5 mama yer baby!!!
6. I can see the heart beating and my guts said the beats were gentle and I think the baby was at calm mode..xmcm abg..laju giler dgr heartbeat dia...huhu...asyik melompat jer...hihi..
7. I saw the baby putting the hand into mouth...
8. I saw the nose - looks like mine ajer....got batang hidung...
9. I saw the spine...looks fine...
10. I saw the kidneys...and they are fine....
11. The brain development - she measured the cereblum, medula...and all are fine..

Alhamdulillah...the baby is in a good position - liquor OK, placenta OK and the age is 20 weeks and 4 days...EDD still on 27th Nov 2009...hope the baby goes out earlier than that...mama want to get dressed in university robe and grabbed my Msc...ehehe...

Only that...............................

I feel frustrated.......................

Maybe I put too much hope...............

Maybe I wasn't pray so hard.............

Maybe my life was really sinful in Edinburgh...........

I will get another hero.................my fear....my big fear has come again......

Then.......I blames Mr Hubby...of course....huhu...nobody to be blamed though...just him or me....I tried my best...and still a boy....I wish for a girl...and still the feeling to have a girl still there....kempunan nk beli baju pink....kempunan sgt...

But....I do love the baby...I'll do the same as I took care your bro....I'll never make any difference of my love to you...it's just I have the fear...that...there will be no girls in our family...it just that....it just that....really....because my sister got girl for her second...and also hub's cousin...and my side...if 2nd boy...then...it become all boys in the family....And the fear also came...what will be the family sayings...specially from Mr Hubby's side...specially my MIL....she was hoping for girl too...my mom...oh dear...will she has time to have another granddaughter???....Pity to my niece...xde gegirl cousin....all boys....oh..dear...and it's gonna be another 'anak mama' which the greatest fear....as I will never have a good time for myself...Mr Hubby will treat the same as the first one....this truly a challenge to me....I need helper but i don't want 'alien' in the house...Aqil is still small to help me....But he must be really happy got a company to share his toys....Thomas and Bob freak!! :) Anyway...I still happy...I got 2 bodyguards....and easy for me to plan the room...they can instantly share the room...I plan to decorate their room with blue theme...everything blue....

"Ya Allah...berilah kekuatan untukku menerima kenyataan ini..jauhi lah aku drpd kufur akan nikmat-Mu...Ya Allah...berilah aku keyakinan dlm mendidik anak2 ku menjadi anak yg soleh semoga dpt menyelamatkn ku dr siksa api neraka-Mu....Ya Allah...celikkn mata dan hatiku agar aku dpt melihat dgn jelas hikmah di sebalik setiap pemberian-Mu...Amin...."