TANTRUM for 4 years Old

Question: What causes tantrum to happen?

Answer: A LOT OF THINGS can lead to it…

Mark, I hope you permit me to display your art here! It’s marvelous.

Yup, I have a 4 year old kid that really has apparently fair tantrum. Why I said fair tantrum? I still can manage him when he is ‘expressing’ his tantrum. It is really tiring to handle a toddler with tantrums. It is like an additional task force that I need to settle every time I get home. Especially after a busy day, a busy week at work, I would feel breathless to ‘entertain’ this toddler. It is well understood, being a fully working mom is a tough job on earth! Yes, I don’t mind people said I am exaggerating; yes in fact I am, in my own perspective.

I somehow discussed about children behavior with my friends at office, if not everyday, every week, there will be a ‘sharing session’ about our kids. I learn from the elders the good tips and lesson learnt. Then, I will flashback my day night before I close my eyes and sleep with end in mind, to have a better tomorrow if not the best. I am always glad, that I’ve finished my day as a mom again.

Talking about my boy tantrum, recently he is very objective and hardheaded. I always try to find the whys he is behaving like that. Sometimes it is very irritating that I feel like I want to punch him to make him stop continue to behave like an idiot!

But I managed to hold back my anger, I told to myself, he is only 4 y.o and many mothers are facing the same thing I am facing right now. Hold back and think! There must be reasons he is behaving like that.

So, this morning, while expressing milk, I had a fruitful conversation with my elders. And the content of the conversation triggered me to further analyze what was really going wrong that make my toddler behaving like that. I am not ashamed to admit my mistake if I have, as we are human, every one does mistake, we never perfect. I don’t want to put my ego onto my kids. That’s never going to work but it will lead to a bad environment at home.

Now, why Aqil is ‘different’ from the way he was before. Let’s start from home, because early education starts from home. ATTENTION! Yes, he tries to gain our attention which he got before Asif arrived. It is not I always neglected him but in many circumstances, I got no chance to put my attention for him, as I have to attend Asif. My hubby is a so-so daddy, so guess what, would he want to attend Aqil and I’m with Asif all the time? Men, is still men…tell me how many daddy would do the wife’s job at home?? And its WORLD CUP fever some more. And new channel some more on ASTRO.
So many series to be catched up on ASTRO yeah?Right papa??

However, I’ve already solution to this problem. It’s just a matter of supports and fitness to do so. Just let the toddler throw his emotion (be it crying, yelling, running over in the hour etc), leave it, DO NOT say anything, give a silent conversation, and DO NOT add the fire to the situation. Just leave it. When he is calmer, go to him, cuddle him softly, pat his back, stroke his head, kiss his forehead, speak softly, and say that you will always love him no matter what happens. Then softly, tell him your concern on his behavior, talk with your toddler like adult conversation. And it works tremendously actually, I tried, and they easily got the message. No need to punch! No need caning! See, it’s really needed my patient, my strong will and fitness to get through this! You definitely act worst when you are tired and sleepy. It’s happen to me.

PARENTING SKILLS are the MOST PROMISING SKILLS for parents! BRAVO parents!!