The kids n I

Last night, the small one was a little bit aggressive. He slept late, so as his brother. And so as me!

I was trying to put the little one to sleep. He seemed sleepy, wiping his eyes and cranky! I switched off the lights, On the air purifier and air cond to get the room a little bit cool for sleeptime. I even asked Aqil to close the door when he finished his toilet!

Asif was aggresively sucking my milk (only bf mom know what does that mean by "aggressive") but still he was wide awake! He smiles, laughes and giggles and sometimes make jokes on me!

Then Aqil came in and asked whether Asif wanted to sleep or not, if not he asked us to join him watching BEN10! Then we went out and I put Asif on the carpet. He straight away went to his toolcar and sit on it. Pretending he want to drive the car. I started getting the washed clothes in the washer and hung them on the drier at the balcony. While Asif still sitting on his car and making noises so as I will come and pick him out of the car.

He only know how to sit on it but don't know how to get out of it. Aqil also scolded his little bro so as Asif will keep quite rather than making such annoying noise to gain attention!

Almost 9.30pm, Asif seems really tired and I managed to put him sleep just in a minute after BF. And he sleeps like baby..yes..of course he is still a baby..hehehe...Aqil joined us and he was very kind and helpful to switch off the tv and closed the door to have a darker room with little light from the air purifier.

Aqil was sobbing again, he missed his papa so much. I was a little bit touched by this but held strong, I will not tears any drop anymore. I said to him, held strong, I am always by his side no matter what happens, papa will be back soon.

I've always wonder how his papa would feel. Does he missed us like we missed him? Might be he is too occupied with activities and jobs that he loves so much??

Our life is now difference. I really hope he did not change his job. Still doing his old job and his foot still loves to be at home with us. His dream job has actually taken him away from me (eventually) and the kids. He spent less time with us and always got grumpy because we make him late for work.

Being away for a little while like this is much awaited for me. I feel more relaxed and Aqil will not get scolded by his papa whenever he makes us late for work.

This is the price I have to pay when I have a husband working diligently for a company that did not fulfill my dream job. I am not happy but my husband is happier now. This is the sacrifice I've made eventhough I know, I won't get the satisfaction that I've always dream of.